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"The soul that can speak through the eyes, can also kiss with a gaze."
~Gustav Adolfo Becquer

Denial ain't a River in Egypt!!

>> Sunday, November 12, 2006

"Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight,
and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times."
~Helen Rowland

What a quote. And unfortunately, how true!!!
Denial.
That wonderful mechanism. It allows us to continue on our merry way without having to be faced with the awful truth of something. It's intent is meant to be comforting. Inviting. Cozy. Like a warm blanket being wrapped around you.
Warm, that is, until someone or something rips it from your grasp. Then you're left standing there, feeling a bit naked, shivering and unprotected from the harsh elements.

I need glasses.
Damn!
I really need to do something about this.
Double Damn!!

I can no longer deny this fundamental fact of growing older, as much as I try. I'm 42. I will be 43 in approximately 6 1/2 weeks. So my Warm Cloak of Denial has been around me for about 1 1/2 years now. It started out as just a Wind breaker. Then it evolved into throwing a sweater on underneath it. Well Damn!! In the last four months, I've put on a Parka of the likes that Syracusans with our famous winters would be proud of. :)

And I can hear the subtle melodious song of "I told you soooo" wafting from the direction of my sister's house!
You see, OR, maybe you Don't SEE , lol, this has been a bone of contention with my sis and I. All meant in the most affectionate of ways, the gentle teasing and razzing of each other, that only sisters can get away with. My sis, who basically diapered by butt when I was a babe, had also struggled with her own mortality and sense of denial about getting older. Though her cloak might have been woven from a different fabric than mine was, a Rose by any other name.... Well, you get the idea!
I would be in the car with her, she would be driving, and she'd ask me the name of a street coming up. I, invariably, would look to my right, and tell her. This had occurred many times over the course of several months. I knew she was struggling with the idea of needing glasses, she admitted that to me, had already been to the eye doctor, tested, and had bought her first pair of glasses, and was wearing them. She had taken the correct steps far quicker than I have.
What I didn't realize, until several months later was, she wasn't asking me for the names of the streets because she couldn't see them (she was wearing her glasses). She was asking, to find out how good MY eyesight was at that time!!!! Unbeknownst to me, I was getting informal eye tests done by my sister, because, though she has acted quicker than I have, she still was having a difficult time wrapping her mind around the fact that her own eyes were going bad. If hers were going bad, How long before her younger sister's would?! lol :)
Anyway, This is all coming to a head. I sometimes get headaches from looking at the computer screen for too long, I find myself holding any reading material a little bit farther away than I used to, and I'm firmly convinced that the companies that produces the Syracuse Yellow Pages and the Herald American are both located on a Grassy Knoll somewhere! The Single bullet Theory must also apply to me!! There's gotta be more than one bullet out there! There has to be, There just has to be! Some one's gotta be messing around with the Fonts out there! And my guess it's a 22 year old computer geek with 20/20, who's been able to hack into the mainframe of all telephone books everywhere!
I write this because I have just today, purchased a pair of reading glasses from Eckerds. At least until I can determine what my insurance will pay for and finding a good eye doctor that is willing to collude with me on my delusions. lol
*Shivers as the first layer comes off*

The prospect of getting older is not one that is lost on my other family members either. There have certainly been talks about failing eyesight amongst the rest of us, regarding their own mortality . However, the focus (ironic word, eh?) for my brothers appear to be from a different perspective.
Hair loss.
This is a big one in my family, at least for the men in my family.
I have four brothers, age range - 41 - 52, not exactly Spring Chickens.
Two of them are definitely follically-challenged, while the other two have a head of hair that would make Paul Mitchell salivate like one of Pavlov's dogs. They have their own 'male version" of my sister's Eye Exam. One of my brother's lives in California and when he comes home and everyone visits, invariably, the two follically-challenged brothers grab the heads of my other two and looks for any sign of thinning, receding hairlines, bare patches or any form of a Comb-Over. I am somehow strangely reminded of monkeys who groom each other and pick off any gnats and fleas that they might find. I think this has become a male initiation rite in my family, whose Rite of Passage only begins after the age of 40!!
Regarding 'Comb Overs', I have informed all of my brothers to ....let it go. Just let it go. From a woman's perspective, I would rather see a bald man than ever, ever, and I mean EVER see a Comb-Over. Thankfully, my brothers, all four of them, agree!!
Actually, I find bald men attractive.

So, I type this with my newly purchased 'reading glasses'. Though I may still be using my warm, toasty, cloak of denial, I'm still able to read something.... with out locking my elbows!!!

BTW - Regarding Helen Rowland's quote about Life After 40, Please tell me if I start re-telling you this story three or four times! :)

~ Greeneyezz (Desperatly fighting (with every blink of my eye) the need to be called "Foureyezz") :)

9 Reflections:

Kim 9:37 PM, November 12, 2006  

Oh my GOD! I understand. I've worn glasses since 1976, but, of late, I've found myself holding things with small print very far away from me when I try to read them. ACK! My arms must be getting shorter. This is not good. And I'm younger than you! I won't say by how much, though. ;-) Anyway, I have no problem wearing glasses as I've had them for so many years, but now I'm starting to worry that bifocals might be in the cards soon. That, I don't really want. My husband, who turned 40 last February, now has 'progressive' lenses, which is MORE THAN bifocals. Oh my. Also, I'm finding that when I open my pills in the morning (yeah, I already take perscription medications every morning that I will take for the rest of my life....argh!), that my hand hurts! Arthritis?!!? Can't be!

I still see myself as being a teenager. How can I be so old? :-o

4Eyes 9:34 AM, November 13, 2006  

So your eyezz are starting to fuzz a little... they're still beautiful.

Welcome to the club. :-)

Friday's Child 4:33 PM, November 13, 2006  

Glasses? You only need glasses? You don't need knee or hip surgery yet? Quityerbellyachin' woman!

I've worn glasses since I suffered an eye injury at 8 years old. When I was 22 I started wearing contact lenses. Now I wear them equally. The contacts I wear now are weird, one is for distance and one is for closer. I think he did it that way for all the computer work I do. Seems to work out ok. But when I take them out and try to read, I have to close one eye until they adjust! lol! I still need to wear reading glasses some of the time too.

I hate growing older, I seriously hate it! It scares the crap out of me. Especially being single. I see my life just zooming by and I want it to slow down! I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up one day and be in my 60's and I'm only 46. 46! That's so freakin old! Ugh! And I think my hearing is starting to go at times!

Thanks for depressing me ZZ.

Geesh!

Anonymous 9:44 AM, November 14, 2006  

zz four of those eyes of yours is twice as gorgeous ...

and that goes for you and your bright baby blues too, gabe!

I expect my next prescription will be for bifocals.

~newt

Anonymous 8:33 PM, November 14, 2006  

omg, that was SO well written that it should be in the newspaper or a magazine! lol

A couple years ago, I was CONVINCED that the stupid packaging companies were making everything FINE PRINT. Then I noticed it was the newspaper and magazines and everything FINE PRINT, trying to save $$. lol

Then my daughter said, "MOM, it's not them it's YOU!"

NO way! lol sigh... then I gave in and bought dollar store glasses. Yes zz, the dollar stores have them and they are just as good as anywhere else. Maybe not quite as stylish, but then who wears them in public? lolol

I haven't been to an eye dr either yet. And I even HAVE vision insurance. lol When I was a kid, I won a contest in my class for being the only kid who could read names on a sheet of paper on the blackboard from the opposite side of the room. Even kids with glasses couldn't do it.

How could I need glasses now? It's just not possible, no sireeeeeeee... :)

-gwen

GreeneyeZZ 10:08 PM, November 14, 2006  

Wowwww! I seem to have hit a nerve with a few! GOOOOOOOOOD!!! They say that Misery loves company! Good to know that I'm not the only one struggling here!

Thanks for your sweet comments foureyes and Newt! Much appreciated.

And Gwen, you too!
"Written well enough to be in a newspaper or a magazine"???? You are too Kind! I can tell you this though, if it were ever to be put in a newspaper or magazine, I would INSIST on at least a 12 FONT! :)

~Blurryeyezz

Anonymous 9:46 AM, November 15, 2006  

Gwen the good thing about the dollar store ones is that you can buy a few pairs. Mr newt has a pair on the nightstand, a pair next to the couch, and a pair on his desk at work. That way he doesn't have to carry them around and he never loses them.

Since I need mine for distance, I am always taking them off and then forgetting where I put them. I think I need to put them on a chain and hang them around my neck. LOL losing brain power is more frustrating than losing vision!

~newt

Anonymous 7:57 PM, November 15, 2006  

zz, I hear you on the 12font! lol

newt, my daughter has worn glasses since she was young, and she loses them and she can't see! She used to always misplace them when she was here. Sometimes she would fall asleep wearing them and I'd tease her about "seeing" her dreams. lol One time I took a string and hung it right above her bed and said "here! hang them up right there!" lol

Now, I know what she means, I lose mine all the time, and likewise, I buy several pairs and keep them around. But hers is worse because she has trouble seeing distance and I worry about her. She recently got contacts. Eww I don't think I could do that. Although, when I was young I was a master at using Visine to "get the red out." ;)

-gwen

Ruth D. Hochman 4:50 PM, April 04, 2010  

ZZ, I am totally feeling ya girl and completely resonating with the Blureyezz jibe above, too...

Like Big time... and I am not admitting a damn thing!!! Today, tomorrow or ever!!!

XOXO

Ruthie

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