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"The soul that can speak through the eyes, can also kiss with a gaze."
~Gustav Adolfo Becquer

True Love Q & A

>> Thursday, May 15, 2008

One of my favorite Bloggers, Rolando, (Whom I dearly miss) has tagged me with a meme on a phenomenon that is as old as time itself...True Love. Rolando had originally been tagged by Morgan from A Process of a Miracle, who, in turn, had been tagged by Bobby of Revellian, who had been tagged by Marzie from Mariuca.
Ahh. True Love, it's a damn epidemic!

Anyway, My answers to these eternally burning questions are below:

*******Copy the questions and answer them honestly*********

~What does true love mean to you?

OK, far too deep of a question to haphazardly post here but I'll do my best.
(Damn you
Rolando! But I do mean that in the most affectionate of ways!) :)
To me, I think it's a state of being; a way of conducting one's self. A mutual acceptance for each other, and who each is, not what you *want* them to be. A sincere desire for the other to be the best they possibly can be and a willingness to support each other in those endeavors, even if it means challenging each other's limited views,....of themselves AND the world around them. Each should be a haven for the other, a safe place for them to turn to....'home' for the other.

I sincerely believe in what I wrote above. Every word of it. Re-reading it, though honest and truthful, sounded rather idealistic.
So, what do I think it means in layman's terms???

It means that eachother can be grumpy, irritable, laying bare and displaying all those faults, foibles, and insecurities that is hidden from prying eyes of the rest of the world, and knowing that each is still deeply loved, in spite of them.
It means that when I mess up (And I will), when I don't have the answers (And I won't), when I stand before you a bundle of jumbled nerves and feeling 'less than' (and I will) that you will wrap me tightly in your arms and just comfort me.
That in spite of all my faults, I am still loved.
It means that I will do the same for you.
Not because it is 'expected', but because I want to.
Because that's how I feel.

~How do you know if you're really in love?

When I have a sincere desire to accept all the foibles of another and I naturally respond to him like I mention in the above question.

~How many times in your life have you fallen in love?

I have fallen 'In Lust', 'In awe', 'In Like', 'In smitten', 'In adoration', and
'In Fondness'......Many, Many, Many times over.
I have fallen in love with many different aspects with as many different people. There are many different parts of people that I have fallen in love with, characteristics and traits, that each deserve to be noticed and loved.

'In Love', I have fallen twice.

~Have you ever fell out of true love because you were mad in the moment?

I'm of the belief that the opposite of Love is *not* Hate.
It's Indifference.
And as 'mad in the moment' as I've *ever* become, Indifference is not in my feeling vocabulary or way of being! I am reminded of a quote by Libbie Fudim: "Love me or Hate me, but spare me your indifference."
I have however, experienced falling out of love because of there being too many mad moments.

~Do you feel love and physical attraction are the same thing?

No. However someone I feel love for becomes strikingly Beautiful to me. In my eyes they are Very Beautiful! When that happens, I often wish that they could see, what I see, through my eyes, when I look at them. How I see them.
I think they can complement eachother though.

~If your true love became ill or disfigured would you continue to love them the same way?

My feelings for someone do not have a basis in physical attractiveness, though as I mentioned in the above question, he naturally becomes more beautiful to me as my loving feelings for him deepen. Conversely, I've seen someone become very ugly to me, hideously ugly, based on their character, or lack thereof.
And if he became ill?? Would that change my feelings?? Absolutely not. If my feelings could change that easily, depending on if he became ill or disfigured, Maybe it wasn't love after all? This is a value that I think was instilled in me from my mother. My father was very ill, with heart problems, and not once did my mother ever consider anything but loyalty and faithfulness to him.
Even after death, that didn't stop.

As an 'aside', I wanted to comment on " them the same way." Yes I sometimes tend to get philosophical, one of the 'casualties' of my job. I think 'loving someone' Does Change and evolve over time. Neither one is the same person they were when first meeting, and will continue to change, evolve and hopefully, deepen the love felt.

~Should anyone else be able to tell you who to love or not love?

Whose life is this....mine or someone else's??? What right does *anyone* have to dictate to someone else who they should love or should not love, or how I should be able to express that love??? I'm also baffled when I come across anyone who is worried what 'others will think' regarding him/her expressing their affection and/or love towards someone. That smacks of other people's opinion mattering more than the person that 'should' matter the most....the object of their affection/love.

As an aside, when I first read this question, as well as the first question on defining True Love, I suddenly recalled a very powerful (long lost) Poem from my younger years, start to replay in my mind. I was awe struck by this because I remembered most of the words, though hadn't recited it in several years. I had forgotten all about it. Forgot that it existed until those two questions jogged something for me. It is, in my opinion, the single most comprehensive and wonderful definition of what Love is. I will post it in the next day or two.

~Do you believe people that ended up divorced were ever truly in love?

Oh yes. Love needs to be nurtured and tended to. When it's not, it eventually will wither and die away. Ending up in Divorce doesn't necessarily mean that two people *weren't* truly in love.

~Would you give up something you want for someone you love?

Yes. Giving up something I want, of course. Something I Need? Would I give up 'who I am,' my sense of self, or twist my values and what I believe in, in essence... what makes 'me'........Me;
No. While I believe that sharing a live with someone involves Compromise, if I have to compromise much of who I am, as a person, maybe taking a closer look into "is it really love" might be in order.

~If you truly love someone do you feel it should be unconditional?

That's really the only way to be. If there was a condition on your feelings, would it *really* be love??? That implies that one could just love someone or Not love someone,*depending* on how the day went. That's really not love. I think that one could fall in love with someone *and* still realize the relationship wouldn't work. And while there's that concept of "Love Conquers All", Love may feel like you're in Heaven, it still has to be dealt with, here on Earth.


And to play a little game of Tag, seeing how I've met several bloggers at TequilaCon08 (and many more that I didn't get the chance to meet) I think I'll tag the following to learn a little bit more about them:
BlackBeltMama (Just because I think you and your husband are such an adorable couple)
SecondhandKarl (With a byline of: "I’m a writer. A lover, not a fighter. An amateur philosopher...." Methinks this challenge may be up your alley. :)
MissBritt (Have read your blog, but didn't get the chance to meet you at TeqCon. However, a few of the posts I've read has left me with a feeling of you being an 'old soul')

I'd also like to include the following regular bloggers:

~Saint Gabriel (you haven't posted in a long time & I thought the subject matter interesting. You write from the heart, I'd like to see more of it.)
DisneyKid (Because this challenges you to go into yourself. Let's see what you're made of.)
~Beulah (Because I've seen you write before.)
~4thefunofit (Because I'd like to see you write something!) ;)


5 Reflections:

Mariuca 6:39 AM, May 16, 2008  

Hola! I did this meme like ages ago and it's nice to see that it's still going strong!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on love and for the linky love too. :)

Kim 7:59 AM, May 16, 2008  

Oh boy. That's way too much to do at this time of day. I'll need more coffee first. Also way too much thinking. Don't know if I want to think that much. ;-)

But, since you tagged me...I'll try to get to it a bit later. Of course, I believe you still have a silly one about books to do! ;-)

Blackbeltmama 9:49 AM, May 16, 2008  

That's a whole lot of thinking and writing! I'll get to it but it might take me a few days. Plus, I have to contemplate how my readers will take the fact that I have feelings that aren't related to anger. ;-)

Greeneyezz 10:01 PM, May 16, 2008  

Mariuca - lol Well, Rolando had tagged me a bit ago, but I wasn't sure how I wanted to go about it! Thanks for stopping by. :)

Kim - Yup. I like to make people think! (You oughta know that by now.) :) I realize this will be very different from what you typically post, so I'm intrigued and quite happy that you will do it.
OK, and the one you tagged *me* with, about the books????...I may need to tweak it a bit, ZZ-ify it to make it a bit more personal relevant. But I will get to it! :)

BBM - Yaaay! I'm excited to hear that! Actually, It'll definitely require some thought (as I said above, I like to make people think...I think it's a casulty of my job.) :)
However, I tended to make mine a bit longer than the others I had read, so if you can get away with single sentence formats, by all means Go For It!
As far as your concern:
"how my readers will take the fact that I have feelings that aren't related to anger."
You can always plead Temporary Insanity. :)~~


Kim 1:38 PM, May 19, 2008  

Alright. Did it.

My Hikes in the Adirondacks

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Summit of Mount Jo 9/24/10 A few friends were worried about me. They were worried about me hiking Mount Jo by myself, so I took this video to show how many people were around that day if I needed assistance. I even chatted with several and had a few people share a glass of wine with me at the summit. :) Mount Jo. 9/24/10 After the crowd left This is what the summit looked like... with no people on it. In the previous video I took, I showed all the people who had made this same hike to her summit.
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