"The Air Before the Thunder Crack"

Blue wonder, originally uploaded by jopegs1.

That's how you described yourself.

The air before the thunder crack.

That heavily weighted silence, of palpable pent up energy,
and fraught with heady anticipation.
It foreshadows the looming crack of thunder
that will follow the bolt of lightening
and also tears my heart asunder.

The air before the thunder crack.

I felt your presence here from time to time.
The air hot, thick, and electrically charged,
And like one, who anticipates that now familiar rumbling,
That Crack of Thunder never came.
The air stayed thick and charged with energy,
Wanting. Needing that release forgiveness.
Though the Thunder never came.
And so I thought, since time had passed, and not a word from you I heard.
I prayed and thought I was safe in adding,
"Your Beautiful Tear" to my memory of you here.
How I mistook that silence from you, as you were closer than I thought.
And like the lightening that's made it's mark, with in feet of where we stay,
The Bolt, the Air, and the Thunder Crack became One with me that day.

The Air Before the Thunder Crack

You wanted your presence known to me, of this, I'm quite sure.
Though the reasons for this, I find myself, once again at a loss.
Unfinished.
The thunder would never come.
Did you think that I would hate you?
Or that I would Not want to hear from you?
Not hear your voice?
Ever again?
Did you think that I no longer care?
Did you?
Would I want to see you hurt and disheartened?
Then you don't know me.
How could I not want the best for you?
How deeply I was touched.
The hurt I feel, is the price I pay,
for keeping an open heart.
Reachable.
Like the mark of that bolt of lightening that streaks it's way
across the sky.


"I will find you in the air before the thunder."
Rings in my ears.
I remember.

© 2008 Greeneyezz
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In Memoriam

NYCWatchdog
DJ

2/15/01 - 6/21/07

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep
I am Not There. I do not Sleep.
I am a Thousand Winds that Blow.
I am The Diamond Glints on Snow.
I am The Sunlight on Ripened Grain.
I am the Gentle Autumn Rain.
When You Awaken in the Morning's Hush
I am the Swift Uplifting Rush
Of Quiet Birds in Circled Flight
I am the Soft Stars That Shine at Night.
Do not stand at my Grave and Cry;
I am not there. I did not Die.
~Mary E. Frye

***Edited 6/22***
The complete outpouring of support for Dawg throughout this Country can be witnessed on Dawg's site HERE! Check it out...every single person on that list had done a memoriam in DJ's honor yesterday!

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Picture from Pointless Drivel

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Incredible Photo...

...And Horrific Damage.

This was a Tornado that had touched down in Orchard, Iowa on June 10, 2008.
According to this article from The Boston Globe:

"The rising Mississippi River has broken high-water records up and down the Iowa and Illinois shore, cresting as high as 12 feet above flood stage in some places. Estimates place the cost of the damage at over $1 billion dollars, and concerns are rising over crop damage, toxic remnants that were washed into neighborhoods, future mosquito invasions, and maintaining supplies of clean drinking water. Communities further downstream are bracing for possible flooding as well."

There are 16 Incredible photos with captions. Check them out here.

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Perpetual Present

Tush, originally uploaded by abre-los-ojos.

I try to memorize him
with the soft pads of my fingertips.
Closing my eyes
and slowly tracing
the cheekbone's rise and gleam
the moist, fragile skin around the eye
the jawbone
square, angled, tight
roughened by the days relentless growth.
I will my heart into my fingertips
and move them through the soft curling
hair on the broad chest
rising and falling
rising and falling over the heart.
My hand moves down the hard belly
And I find
I cannot remember,
in every detail,
the line of his face
I touched only a moment ago.
It has already begun to fade.

And I had wanted to hold it forever.

He strokes my arm
runs his broad fingers
down the naked curve of my back
over the smoothness of my thigh
draped across him.
Is he trying to memorize me also?

We cannot hang on to this moment
Even knowing it is the last moment.
Life pulls us
like a great tidal wave
sweeping us forward
dragging us into the perpetual present.
Our memories of this moment
will change and be shaped
by new desires and disappointments.

And I will forget I knew even this.


~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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I Love this Poet. She's incredible. Like it? If you'd like to read more from her, please click on the tag 'Oriah' located right below the comment section.

My Very Personal All Time Favorite from her???
Read 'The Moment Before'.
And when you do, slowly take it in, let your mind wander. Let it take you places and visualize this as you take in every word and the feeling behind it.
~ZZ

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It Is Often Said...

"There are two ways of spreading Light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." ~Edith Wharton

(click on photo)

It's June 15, 2008. Summertime. And it's sunny, hot, humid, and the smell of BBQ wafts by me. The neighbor's children are outside laughing.
It smells like Summer.
It sounds like Summer.
It most definitely feels like Summer.

And I'm thinking of Christmas.

Not *just* Christmas, more like the TV specials that typically mark that time of year.
And one particular movie stands head & shoulders above all the rest for me:
It's a Wonderful Life.

Frank Capra was simply brilliant in echoing the meaning of nine lines on a Christmas card, and being inspired by them when making that movie. The key summarized thoughts from that card:

"That every man's life is important because it touches so many other lives."

And as my mind replays parts of that movie, tears fall from my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. One of the more soul-touching bits from that movie, involved a conversation between George Bailey and his 'angel' Clarence, when Clarence was showing George what life would be like without him in it:

[George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone]
Clarence: [explaining] Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
George Bailey: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every man on that transport.
Clarence: Every man on that transport died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.

"That every man's life is important because it touches so many other lives."

I think of George Bailey and what he represents, when Bill comes to mind.
It takes a real special kind of person to do what Bill and his wife Jennifer are doing, being foster parents.
It's not an easy job, by any stretch of the imagination. On top of the typical struggles involved with being a responsible, loving parent, Bill and Jennifer also have to deal with The Department of Social Services, The court System, the biological parent(s), the school system and Medical professionals. There are Doctor's appointments, Therapy appointments, school meetings for I.E.P.s. I could go on for what would seem like forever here. There's just a lot more involved than what meets the eye.

And through out all that, there's Bill.

Simply (or more likely, not-so-simply) by doing what he's doing, Bill's life is touching so many other lives, and in such a way, it's unfathomable. He'll probably never get the opportunity like George Bailey did, of having his own Guardian Angel show him what these children's lives would be like, with out him in their world.
But somehow, that's OK.
It's enough to know that Bill is indeed The George Bailey for the foster children that have been involved.
His life touches theirs.
And Their lives???
Who knows, maybe one of them will grow up to be the one to stop the hunger, hate, and/or disease in our world. Maybe they'll be The Harry Baileys of the world, much like Bill is one of The Georges.

Oh how our lives touch one another, and so often we aren't even aware how much we impact another.

And the quote I had written at the very top of this post???
"There are two ways of spreading Light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." ~Edith Wharton

There *ARE* two ways of Spreading Light......

Bill is *Both* The Candle *and* The Mirror.

Happy Father's Day Bill.

And a Happy Father's Day to All fathers reading this.



© 2008 Greeneyezz

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The Tear

Gone but not forgotten, originally uploaded by Tzatziki.

If I could be just one tear that you've cried,
I would be the one to stop and savor every moment
While I fell down your cheek.

I would study every line.
Every memory
and kiss you along the way.
Until I reached the corner of your mouth
Only to truly be kissed.
And then I would experience your heart
Your everything.

And before I would fall.
I would dance from your lash
Because I would come from
Within you already.

~DJC

------------------------------------------------------------------
(Disclaimer)
The above poem was given to me by a certain gentleman last year.
I do not claim 'ownership' of this beautiful writing, as the credit goes completely to him.

D. should you come upon this and have any questions for me, or wish me to remove it, please contact me by email and I will certainly abide by your wishes.
Obviously it is something that's held meaning for me, as it's inclusion here,
is done out of reverence.

~DJM

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Lessons from Geese

Lessons from Geese provides a perfect example of the importance of team work and how it can have a profound and powerful effect on any form of personal or business endeavour. When we use these five principles in our personal and business life it will help us to foster and encourage a level of passion and energy in ourselves, as well as those who are our friends, associates or team members.
It is essential to remember that teamwork happens inside and outside of business life when it is continually nurtured and encouraged.

Lesson 1 - The Importance of Achieving Goals
As each goose flaps its wings it creates an Uplift for the birds that follow. By flying in a ' V ' formation the whole flock adds 71 percent extra to the flying range.
Outcome:
When we have a sense of community and focus, we create trust and can help each other to achieve our goals.
(For me this means that each person exudes an energy, that collectively, if positive, would benefit them. Trusting eachother and behaving in a manner that builds trust is essential .
Anything less is just them flapping their jaws wings.)

Lesson 2 - The Importance of Team Work
When a goose falls out of formation it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back to take advantage of the lifting power of the birds in front.
Outcome:
If we had as much sense as geese we would stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.
(For me this also means that if the other is *not headed where we want to go*, you may need to fall out of formation. Especially when the other presents as only being capable of 'taking' emotionally, but unwilling to 'give' emotionally.)

Lesson 3 - The Importance of Sharing
When a goose tires of flying up front it drops back into formation and another goose flies to the point position.
Outcome:
It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks. We should respect and protect each other’s unique arrangement of skills, capabilities, talents and resources.
(To me this means just that...sharing.)

Lesson 4 - The Importance of Empathy and Understanding
When a goose gets sick, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to the ground to help and protect it.
Outcome:
If we have as much sense as geese we will stand by each other in difficult times, as well as when we are strong.
(To me this means not giving up on the other.)

Lesson 5 - The Importance of Encouragement
Geese flying in formation ' HONK ' to encourage those up front to keep up with their speed.
Outcome:
We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups and teams where there is encouragement, production is much greater. ‘Individual empowerment results from quality honking.’
(To me this means that each should needs to hear encouragement from the other. Emotional stroking and caring for another's feelings, nurturing to eachother is needed.)

~anonymous

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Hey you??

Thank you

*Reaches up on tippy toes*

~Me

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Kitty Hoynes VS P.D.

I wanted my last post to stand on its own, as it was very much me reflecting.
This however.....

I did neglect to say we ended up at Kitty Hoynes after The Taste of Syracuse. Anyone who's ever been there knows they almost frown upon you ordering *anything* BUT a Pint of Guinness. (Not really, but they are very proud to have received some sort of award by Guinness; they're a wonderful Irish Bar. You'll have to check out their site.)
Anyway, It seems that one in our party had struggled to leave that fine establishment!

And like I said last night...

"Ahhh, the True Beauty of Friendship! Where anyone of us can do some funny shit and we will always, Always Love Ya for it!!!"

~ZZ

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"Can't You See"

If there is a single song that can transport me to an earlier time of my life, so vividly and with such clarity, that a 'movie' replays sweetly in my mind, as I gently sway to it's hauntingly seductive melody,
this would be it:

Just searching for this on youtube made the hairs stand up on my arms, and when I closed my eyes as I replayed this song, I could smell coconut from suntan lotion (in my mind) hear in the background, water that was falling over the Dam at Jamesville, and feel the sun beat down on my very darkly tanned body, as I layed on a Beach blanket. Letting the droplets of water, left over from the swim I just took, leave glistening trails and make their way, slowly down my legs and disappear onto the blanket below me and then evaporate as the hot summer sun did its magic. I can even recall hearing buzzzzzing from an occasional insect that was drawn to the smell of coconut and even see a dragonfly, with it's opalescent and tranclucent wings flutter, as my own eyes fluttered open when someone said "Here, try this." as frisbee tricks were being done not far from me. I remember thinking that dragonflys were not a regular sight here and was taken by the beauty of it's fragile silvery wings.
My body still remembers what it felt like, as my lips touched the still icy-cold aluminum can from a beer I had been drinking.
And This Song playing, on a Tape Deck of a portable stereo, that was resting under a chair, behind me.
I was 19 years old.

All in this song.
This one simple song.

I was flooded with that same seductivly sweet memory last night, as I swayed to this exact same song while watching The Marshall Tucker Band (or whoever is originally left) play this while at The Taste of Syracuse.
Even so many years, several band members later, and even my failing eyesight could not dim those wonderful feelings that washed over me when this song came on. The place was mobbed, as usual for this yearly event, and because of my 5'4" height, I would from time to time gently nudge Fosterdad, asking him to tell me what they looked like, as he was able to easily see over the crowd, *any crowd* for that matter. ;)
Even when Molly Hatchet had played before them, it just didn't have the same effect on me as that one song does.

Beautiful.
Hauntingly so.

~ZZ

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A 'Stolen' Mosaic Meme

I am Stealing this from Karl. I Love the idea of this. I like creativity.

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

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According to my Pictorial Answers, My Mosaic looks like this:
(Click to make picture larger)

(Below are my Answers, as per picture.)

1. Canadian Music Week - The Donnas,
2. Grilled Chicken Salad on Baby Salad Greens,
3. Henninger,
4. Hunter Green,
5. Pierce Brosnan Tribute,
6. Pouring red wine 1,
7. Ponte Vecchio, Florence, Italy,
8. Tiramisu Tart,
9. Douglas speaking,
10. FRIENDS HOME FAMILY,
11. passionate sky and quiet sea,
12. The Amputation of a Friendship

Feel Free to 'Steal' this for yourself and make your own Mosaic.
~ZZ

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ZZ-ifed

OK, DisneyKid had tagged me a while ago on this Book Meme. It's taken me awhile to get to it.
Not because it is difficult or long in any way, but I wanted to slightly change it, or as I told her... ZZ-ify it, as I wanted to make it a bit more personally meaningful to me rather than just read off lines from a specific page.
Instead, I think I'll choose a five books that I own and pick out specific passages. I will not be tagging anyone with this *Collective 'Whewww' can be heard*

All Righty Then:

1.) "We tend to see at a very early age the formation of what we refer to as the "homicidal triangle" or "homicidal triad" This includes enuresis - or Bed-wetting - at an inappropriate age, starting fires, and cruelty to small animals or other children. Very often we found, at least two of these three traits present, if not all three. By the time we see his first serious crime, he's generally somewhere in his early to mid-twenties. He has low self-esteem and blames the rest of the world for his situation."

Taken from "Journey Into Darkness: Follow the FBI's Premier Investigative Profiler as he Penetrates the Minds and Motives of the Most Terrifying Serial Criminals", by John Douglas. P. 36.

2.) "FACT: The Priory of Sion - A European Secret Society founded in 1099 - is a real organization. In 1975 Paris's Bibliotheque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Isaac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Leonardo da Vinci."Taken from the Non-Fiction prologue of The DaVinci Code, by Dan Brown.

3.) "The Butterfly Flick - This highly effective fellatio technique consists of flicking your tongue lightly along the ridge of the underside of his penis. At first, you may need to hold the base of his penis when you perform this move, but when you are adept at it, you will be able to perform it with out using your hands, leaving them free to caress and fondle him."
This is from Anna Hooper's "Kama Sutra - Classic Love Making Techniques Reinterpreted for Today's Lovers". P. 55.
(I was thinking I'd add something to hold every one's interest. Did it work??) :)

4.) "Feeling fully, to me, means life itself. Knowing and experiencing their emotions is a gift I want with all my heart for my children.
Feelings are like a river. If we stuff them up, our emotional stream becomes stagnant, dirty, disease-ridden. When we allow our feelings to flow freely, we're cleansing our system. Our minds are clear and our lives are a joy to live."
Taken from: The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children, Parenting from the Heart, by Steven W. Vannoy, P. 148.

5.) "With weary resignation, I went back to the bed and covered the hideous little face with a handkerchief. When I could no longer see him, I found I could control my revulsion sufficiently to handle him. ...Later, while he slept in a room full of summer sunlight, I sat in a chair feverishly fashioning the first garment he ever wore.
A Mask..."
Taken from Susan Kay's novel The Phantom - the years leading up to his time in the Opera House, P. 18.


Ya know what??? I'm thinkin' a bonus passage may be needed.
With that being said, and that in the interest of World Peace, I'm taking this from the same book as #3, though this one can be found on page 52:

**Bonus Passage**

"Genital Kissing - When you give your lover oral sex, a good way to create a slow but highly erotic crescendo of arousal is to kiss and lick her abdomen, her lower belly, and the insides of her thighs, slowly working in towards her genitals. Move on from this to kissing and licking her pubic mound, the outer lips of her vagina, and then her clitoris. A gradual approach such as this, perhaps even starting at her breasts and nipples and then working downward, helps build sexual tension, and is also useful if she is a little unsure about indulging in oral sex and needs a gentle introduction to genital kissing."
(Just wanted to make sure people were smiling.) :)

~ZZ

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Quotable Thursday

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

~M. Scott Peck

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The 'Best Button in The Universe'!! :)

Looky at what I got in the mail yesterday!
I've got a 2HT Button!
*Sung to the tune of "I've got an Ice-cream"!*




*MWAW*
Thanks Karl!

~ZZ
;)

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Some Days I Feel Like This...

And Other Days I Feel Like This...

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Never a Bother. Never.

"And finally the day will come...

Photo by:MiJully

When the Risk it takes to remain
Tight in the bud,


Will be more Painful

Than the Risk it takes...

Photo by: Wiccked


...to Blossom."
~Anis Nin
~Please click on the pictures to really see the true beauty of each.~

~ZZ

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The Dance

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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